This is so important to understand. This topic usually comes up in the context of a parent mourning the loss of a son or daughter who is transitioning. The parent may feel that their son has died and have trouble recognizing their new daughter.
Every human who has ever lived, that had a secret, had to decide whether to share that secret with the outside. This conundrum is not exclusive to LGBT+ people, but that is what I want to discuss. My personal experience is with the T part of that initialism. Coming out is a deeply personal decision and one that everyone must make for themselves. Add in the issue of transitioning and it becomes even more difficult.
One of the effects of growing up as a repressed and suppressed trans kid is a lack of confidence and identity. You never feel like you belong anywhere or to anything. You don’t know who you are. You never feel like you are entitled to anything. You’ve never earned an award. You give, but you feel you shouldn’t get.
While I am on this explanation kick, let’s get some terminology down. If I get anything wrong, or missed some important terms, let me know.
Transgender: (Not “a transgender” or “transgendered”). Someone who is transgender feels that their gender identity does not match their assigned gender. They generally suffer emotionally from this, and it is referred to as dysphoria.
I find it shocking how ill-informed some trans girls are about their transition. I’m one of those people who researches everything to death. Before I accepted myself, I was obsessed with trans-ness and learned all I could about the science, medicine and history of trans people. Now that I am transitioning myself, I obsessively research the various options, medicines, and procedures that are available to me. I like being well informed.
Welcome class. A surprising percentage of the population still can’t wrap their heads around the concepts of sexual identity and sexual orientation and the fact that they are not the same thing or linked to each other in some way.
Sexual identity is who you are. Sexual preference is who you want to be with. Simple as that.
Discussion on topic of “both sidism” and respecting other opinions and good faith. With some Trans content in there.
I’ve been thinking about our society’s dysfunction when it comes to debate. Debate has certainly been a part of humanity since the earliest days. It was a part of ancient Greek and Indian civilization. The Romans were masters at the art form, elevating it and degrading it at the same time. Senators debated issues in public, but at the same time, were viciously attacking each other in the process. Cicero famously accused Clodius of incest with his brothers and sisters. This practice was known as “invective” which entered the English language in the 15th century after passing through Middle French from the Latin “inveho” meaning “carrying in”.
I was talking with a friend (F) who is not aware of my transness the other day and the conversation turned to all the anti-trans feeling circulating everywhere. She is generally accepting of things, but is having a hard time with the idea of transition. She said, “I would have one question for a Trans person, do you want to have a period? Bleed and have cramps every month? Because, it is not fun.”